don't let it pass you by...

Life is too short to worry about the stupid shit in life: so live like there's no tomorrow, laugh until your stomach hurts, and love with all your heart because life truely is a blessing

Over the years i've learned to cherish life. I've lost 2 grandmothers, a great-grandmother, an uncle, a friend, and now a person that I found to be an amazing, beautiful, strong woman...Mrs. Pignatiello. My friend Katie, has lost her mother and words cannot even express how devastated I would be, and how impressed I am that her family has been so strong through this. God is definitely on their side and they now have an amazing guardian angel looking down on them and beaming with proudness. RIP Momma P!

These are the moments I cherish, the moments I live for:

• dreams-the ones where my grandmothers visit me :)



• quality time with my momma-in the car, at home, at the grocery, wherever



• weekends spent in Cincy with the wonderful Combs family



• the drive to and from school, radio blasting, singing at the top of my lungs



• lazy Sundays



• family dinners-unfortunately these don't happen as much as when grandma was alive :(



• coffee dates with my friends



• sitting in my pj's, under a blanket while it snows outside



• seeing a Christmas tree lit up



• daddies loving on their little girls



• seeing people be so positive, even when it seems like nothing is going right



• moments with friends



• weeknights where i'm asleep by midnight(it's like heaven!)



• roadtrips

Life is what we make of it. It can be good, bad, positive, negative, fun, boring, crazy, lame but whichever way you make it, make sure it's the right one for you. It's your life. Do what you want, not what others want you to do or what you think you should do. How could that possibly make you happy?

New Start*

*If they don't come after you when you walk away...then keep walking*

I read this quote today on my friend's facebook and this describes my life perfectly. I recently cut ties with someone that meant a lot to me, but they didn't chase me afterwards. I know this is for the best. Everyone is telling me it's for the best. But if it's for the best then why have I cried over this? Why do I just want to pick up the phone and call them? It has been almost a week since I have spoken to this person and you know what? I FEEL GREAT! I'm more confident then ever and am looking forward instead of looking back. My friends are amazing. My family is amazing. MY LIFE IS AMAZING!!

Today I'm gonna sit in my living room. Christmas tree lit. Blinds open-looking at the beauty nature has given us-SNOW! It's cold out. It's sunny out. It's white out. It's beautiful out. Just like you.

wow. 1/3 the way thru....

I'm officially done with Fall quarter 2010, which means I, Corie, have only 2, yes 2!, quarters left before I need to make the tough decision of do the "adult thing" or going to grad school. I've always debated grad school but was never sure what I would go for, but I think i've figured it out! So here are my options for what I could be doing in June 2011. Input is always accepted gratefully :)

option #1: Work
I graduate in June and one of my options is become an adult and start my career. Doing this means I would more than likely pack up, and move to Cincinnati(more than likely) and start my career somewhere down there. Hopefully with a job where I can use my major(communications) and my minor(marketing). Now don't get me wrong I do like this option but I don't know if i'm ready for it...but Adam is down there....:)

option #2: Grad school
I continue what i'm doing now. Going to school and working at Clarks. I would be going to grad school for Counseling. I've had a lot of friends asking for advice from anything to relationships to school and I really enjoy helping them. I would love to do this for a living. This option is pretty ideal except for the fact that...I'm getting tired of Clarks (insert gasp here) I love my job, I love my coworkers, but I've worked there part time for 5 and a half years and I'm getting burnt out on my "high school" job. We'll see....

option #3: COLUMBUS!
Move in with my best friend, Adela, and live in Cbus with her and just work and have some fun at the same time. I could work in my field, or I could work at a pharmacy, save up money, and then go back to school after a year or so. I could also find a job (maybe in a counselors office?) and see if they will pay for me to go to grad school and work for them. I could probably do this anywhere but it would be getting out of lil' Tipp City and moving forward. Dad wants me to take some time off school so I can have a break because I don't know what it's like to have "free" time. So far this option seems like the best bet, but I still have doubts. What if I can find a job? What if I can't get into a grad school near there? Oy vay!

I can't believe I'm at this point in my life where I have to decide on something so major. Wasn't it just yesterday I graduated high school?

In a better place...

For those of you who don't think a pet is part of the family, then you might as well stop reading now.

This morning my mom took my childhood cat to the vet, and came back without her. I knew this was a possibility when she took her. Sarabelle (tiger-striped) had been having troubles breathing and couldn't eat so mom was taking her to the vet to see what could be done, if anything. Turns out she had pneumonia, and had it for awhile. That's why she couldn't breathe or eat and why for the past couple months she's been "coughing." She also had kidney failure, which like any older animal is a possibility and had lost 5 pounds in the past year and weighed only 5 pounds. Sarabelle was a stray kitten in our alley that during the winter many, many, many years ago coaxed inside and she's been ours ever since. She was a bitch. She hated people, but she always let you pet her once and every once in awhile would lay with you. She also had a saggy belly from when she was spayed. We joke that she needed to have a tummy tuck or lipo because it swayed back and forth as she walked. I've never had to say goodbye to a childhood pet, and man was it hard. She's not suffereing anymore though, which ultimately is all that matters. I'll miss her but it's part of growing up. You lose things you love, but with every loss, you'll gain something new whether it's a lesson or a kitten. Ha! It's too soon for a new cat to replace her but don't be fooled-i checked the pounds website this afternoon :) My babygirl Sarabelle is now buried out in the backyard, with my great-grandma's cat. I was outside with dad while he dug the whole(he was more of a mess than me) and the neighborhood cat, Bozzle, sat out there with us like he was paying his condolences or something. Sam hasn't noticed that Sara isn't around, but give it time and he'll realize there isn't anything to pick on.

Man that felt good to get off my chest :)

Miss and love you Sarabelle!

Tears of Stress

It is the end of the quarter. THANK GOD. I have finals and projects due between now and next wednesday and my stress level has officially reached an all time high. My neck is stiff, my shoulders, back and head hurt. All because of stress. I keep bursting into tears over the stupid stuff because i've reached my limit. Yes, I do realize that EVERY college student goes thru this and you might be thinking woe is me, but I had to bitch about it for a minute!

Once again my group of friends that I talk to on a daily basis and hang out with on the weekends is changing. This happens often to me, but I can honestly say that I am legitimately happy with who I have been surrounding myself with. I have had 2 friends pop back up into my life again and it's absolutely wonderful. One is a friend that I have had since I was in Kindergarten. They moved in middle school and we slowly drifted apart, but for some reason I can't remember, we began talking again and now I see her on a weekly basis and I LOVE IT! I have one of my best friends back and it feels like nothing ever changed. :) My other friend that has popped back into my life never really left but was going thru some rough stuff and began to isolate herself. She suffers from depression, as do I, yes, I Corie Marko suffer from depression. I take medication for it and have for over a year now. I'm not ashamed of it and I don't feel as though it's something that anyone should be ashamed of. My friend that suffers from it went off her medication because she thought she was ready but it turned out not what she thought it would be. I'm beyond happy that I was able to be there for her, and knew exactly what she was going thru and was able to help her as much as possible. I'm so glad that she is back and hopefully for good :)

My boyfriend. Oy Vay! He is something else....There are days I want to strangle him, and have broken up with him...only to text him 2 seconds later and say I didn't mean it. This distance (about an hour) is a lot harder to deal with then I ever thought possible. We have opposite schedules and it is nearly impossible to make our schedules work together. However we are both determined to make this work. We want this to work. It feels right. I get to see him tomorrow :)

It's almost 1am and I have to get up at 8am....probably should head to bed. Although I know I'll toss and turn and won't sleep much because I'll be thinking of the papers and finals that I should be doing instead of sleeping.......STORY.OF.MY.LIFE.

Babies, Babies, Babies!

First and foremost. I AM NOT PREGNANT!! But it seems like everybody around is having babies and well I wanted to brag on my wonderful friends! :)

Recently I've had conversations with 2 different friends(who happen to be mama's too) and we've talked about parenting. Obviously I have no idea what it is like to have to raise a child, but I can tell you that I know an immature mother when I see it. Currently I have multiple friends that have children and they are the best mama's in the world! One has 2 children who she has 24/7 for the most part and is doing her best to raise them right, by herself while working and going to school. The dad's are immature and don't know what it takes to have a child. They should be counting their blessings that their children have such an amazing Mother. Another friend, recently had a baby and I can't tell you how amazed I am with all that she's accomplished. She not only is taking classes, running a household, taking care of her child, but she is also raising another child that is not hers. Her boyfriend already had a daughter whose mother is well....a mother-not a mom. Luckily that little girl has my friend in her life to be her "mom" :)

Now to the point(I just had to brag about my wonderful fraanns!) These 2 ladies have had to obviously mature faster than others but they honestly motivate me. Everytime I complain to myself that my life is just so hectic all I have to do is think of them. They do it all and they may be exhausted, but at the end of the day they are happy. I give them props. Really. I do. They motivate me to be more productive, positive, and happy. If they can do this, then I can go to school and work. Yes, I get stressed and breakdown but I CAN DO IT. I have one year of school left. Just one. I need to get through this year, get that degree, find a job, get married, and then I can start doing what they are doing...having families. Hopefully I'll be as happy as they are (and they can give me pointers!) For the meantime I'll just enjoy everyone else's babies as much as possible! :)

life.

theres this guy....and well i kinda like him :) and i feel like i'm in junior high every time he calls me, or texts me. i get a big goofy smile on my face and even my dad notices it. i've known him for awhile and he's became one of my best friends and i honestly can't imagine him not being in my life in the future. lately we've started talking recently about us. and what us is. we've decided that we want to try a relationship. we think it can work. we think we'll be good together. we know everything about each other. he knows what i want to name my kids. i know he shakes his foot when he's falling asleep. HE MAKES ME HAPPY! :)

we haven't had the full relationship talk...we just know we want to try this. i want it to work. he wants it to work. we're gonna have some obstacles in the way but i know we can do this. i've had some friends that think this will never work...and maybe they're right. but then i have the friends that are beyond happy that i have him in my life. thanks guys! :)

dad doesn't like him. he doesn't even know him, but he knows he doesn't like him. mom wants to meet him. she wants him to come stay the night(and sleep on the couch of course!) brother, well he could care less. push comes to shove this guy will always be my friend. he's there for me whenever i need him. he lets me bitch at him just to get it out. he plays psychologist when i need it. he makes me laugh. he makes me cry. he pisses me off. he makes me smile. he makes me feel special.

it's just one more change that is happening in my life right now. i welcome it with open arms. i regret only 1 thing i've done in my life...and i saw that regret tonight. i had mixed emotions about it. part of me was thinking stupid stupid corie. and the other part of me thought you only live once and i took full advantage of what was in front of me and had fun! that living once part of me is what keeps me hopeful and excited about this new change. and i just hope in the end i'm not saying stupid stupid corie, but rather i'm only gonna live once...glad i tried!

The Beginning....

Where oh where to start?! Writing has always been a release for me...especially if I'm getting to write about what I want so I figure why not? Right now is the PERFECT time for me to start this. This is the one thing I can be sure of, and the one thing that I know will make me happy. I'm at that point in my life right now where everyone is asking me what I want to do in a year when I leave Wright State. Do I want to live in Ohio? Are you dating anyone serious? The only answer that I can give for all of these questions that keep getting thrown at me is "How in the hell am I suppose to know???" If you don't like my answer than oh well! (and yes that is even my answer to the dating question) I've gone thru some rough patches recently...REAL rough patches but luckily I've had my amazing friends to help me overcome some of them, but they can't help with it all. Some of it I have to do all on my own, and I don't even know where to begin. I'm 21 years old...life is suppose to be complicated right now -right? But I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so all this craziness going on right now will all work out in the end....I hope :-/ There are few things that are consistent in my life and that includes my TRUE friends, my loving family, my job, and of course that boy that lives in Kentucky that knows how to get under my skin but also makes me laugh :) For now those things are my support system. They've been there for me thru the good, bad, ugly, and stupid. I realized today that the people who I thought were my "really good friends" aren't anymore. But I also realized that the friends that matter are still here for me so thank you! This is going to have to be my release...not because I'm shy, or not outspoken but because seeing my thoughts in words help me to see the light at the end of the tunnel :) Goodnight!